Expectations are limitations.Un-attachment is not detachment.
Conditional living leads to resentment.
Unconditional self-love is happiness.
Slowing down dilutes control.
It has taken me what seems like forever to allow my relationship to be the love I needed it to be. It is so much easier to blame another for not listening as you clearly do not listen. It is amazing how hidden our deep agenda of sabotage can be and how it can breathe deep into all of our relationships. My husband is my teacher of boundaries and self-love; never easy lessons but beautiful ones. Jeremy consistently gives me the space to express my gift in its everyday full potential when I choose it. That is the key when I /we choose it. It is incredible how much we fear to open up and let our intimate partner be who we need them to be for our best self to step forward. We complain and speak of what they are not doing and keep building expectations of what we cannot seem to give to our selves. Either way he keeps showing up with an open heart giving me to ability to keep growing in releasing the fear that can shadow through and into as we walk into deeper shades of love and happiness.
I wanted to take a moment to honor my son, Jacob. I have learned more from him than anyone. He brings me back to me with ease and love. He shows me only acceptance and always reflects back to me my kindness and sweetness. Children are in need of our understanding and care. Love them unconditionally because that is all they give and it is what they deserve.
Do others hold you back or do you hold yourself back? Maybe both. The truth is I don't know. I have struggled with the answer and many times thought i understood the concept in theory and experientially, but i do not. I see and hear many who speak of being positive and that nothing is real and that negativity is not a reality. It sounds really good. However, everyday, I see someone and experience their deep struggle to be happy and be free of the obstacles that keep them tortured. For them it is real.
There is so much kindness that exists. It is easy to forget. I forgot today. Life with expectation got the best of me. I expected a family member to love me and was attached to how I needed it to be. Needless to say, it hurt deeply and brought up old wounds that seemed infinite. I forgot about everyone who loved me and who consistently show up for me. It was as if they no longer existed even though they were directly in front of me listening to my process of letting go. Later in the early evening, a friend stopped by who seemed worse off than me and I listened with love, returning the favor. In that moment, I was reminded of my kindness and my love of giving. No matter how much I hurt or have been hurt, giving is the best way to receive and is who I am. In giving to her, I remembered the love inside of me and allowed myself to heal. I got an opportunity to step outside of myself and give. I used to believe that was an expression of my lack of self-love. And now I know that, in fact, it is an expression of my self-love. I have a new found gratitude for my ability to give and its power. And thanks to the very special people in my life that gave to me today, you know who you are. Without them I would not have remembered how loving through adversity is truly the only option. Certainly you will need to process through the hurt, however, it is possible to end up in a state of love; the pure you.
The spiritual stalemate. Where has the magic gone?