There is so much kindness that exists. It is easy to forget. I forgot today. Life with expectation got the best of me. I expected a family member to love me and was attached to how I needed it to be. Needless to say, it hurt deeply and brought up old wounds that seemed infinite. I forgot about everyone who loved me and who consistently show up for me. It was as if they no longer existed even though they were directly in front of me listening to my process of letting go. Later in the early evening, a friend stopped by who seemed worse off than me and I listened with love, returning the favor. In that moment, I was reminded of my kindness and my love of giving. No matter how much I hurt or have been hurt, giving is the best way to receive and is who I am. In giving to her, I remembered the love inside of me and allowed myself to heal. I got an opportunity to step outside of myself and give. I used to believe that was an expression of my lack of self-love. And now I know that, in fact, it is an expression of my self-love. I have a new found gratitude for my ability to give and its power. And thanks to the very special people in my life that gave to me today, you know who you are. Without them I would not have remembered how loving through adversity is truly the only option. Certainly you will need to process through the hurt, however, it is possible to end up in a state of love; the pure you.How do you let go of what hurts you? Giving to yourself by sharing your innate gift.
2 comments:
sometimes the simplicity of 'listening' is the form of love that is needed. It is a honor to be able to be asked to listen
The very concept of "what hurts us" is something I too have thought much about, especially recently. Just last week I was unable to contain the tears in my eyes and the deep pain I was feeling at what I perceived were the selfish actions of a friend.
But what I know to be true is that ALL emotions are generated by the thoughts that we are thinking. When our thoughts are positive we feel good and when our thoughts are negative, we feel bad. And 'hurt feelings' are just thoughts we are thinking about ourselves that the other person has managed to trigger within us. As much as the pain and hurt feels as generated by an outside source that we have no control over, it is really our own thought patterns getting the best of us... something we have 100% control of.
As such, moments of hurt and pain can be considered amazing gifts, because they expose places within ourselves that are vulnerable. In other words, from a place of worth, no one can make us feel unworthy. From a place of confidence, no one can make us feel unsure. From a place of joy, no one can make us feel despair.
So, as I sat in my hurt feelings, I thought to myself, "I am solely responsible for the pain I am feeling right now. It's nothing outside myself. So what are the thoughts I am thinking about myself right now that are causing me to feel this way?" And what I realized is that although I wanted to blame my friend for being selfish and not thinking about my feelings, what I was REALLY feeling was rejected and unloved... thoughts that can only be generated from my own place of unworthiness that I was feeling within myself. With this knowledge and understanding I was able to see that no one was "hurting me," but rather, I was learning about my own lingering places of self-doubt. As worked through all these thoughts and learned for myself why I was thinking them I was able to release them and let go and instead of blame, I instead found immense compassion, forgiveness,and personal growth. It was also a reminder of, as you say, "loving through adversity," because it is through hard times we are pushed the most to look within ourselves and discover the places we are not loving ourselves fully and then from a place of true self love we can then be fully loving to all... and even more so to those who trigger our growth through adversity.
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